youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize