I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
