I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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