You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
