There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize