she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
