I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
