It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
