I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
