My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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