ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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