Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
