I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
