Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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