Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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