Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
