what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
