Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
