Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
