well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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