I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
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