so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize