Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
