Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize