And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
