You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
