I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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