Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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