wat bout pragnant strippers??
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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