I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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