i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
