i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
