I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He literally asked permission to hit on me
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
