i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize