The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
