i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
