Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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