i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We need to rekindle our bromance
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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