i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
