Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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