I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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