bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
