Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So vagazzling was a success
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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