Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
