there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Randomize
