if i can run in heels then i can drive
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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