he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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