So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
