Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
