The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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