Who did Billy Mays play for?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
false alarm, still single
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize