Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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