My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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