I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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