She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
