and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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