Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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