I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It was confusing and full of hummus
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
