Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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