Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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