we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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