But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I will die if light touches me.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
